tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
