Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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