He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
