Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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