Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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