And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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