i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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