who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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