You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
where are you?
Hypothermia
You're like the curious george of whores
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
