I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
40s are totally the cure
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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