I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
