i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
