Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
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