I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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