Don't make out with my wife yet
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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