Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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