How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
