Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I AM VODKA MAN
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
