Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
