So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I seem to have left my pride at pride
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
