Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
