She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
