I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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