when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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