haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize