I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
