it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
