i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
