how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
