why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
