i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
