I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
