Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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