Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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