If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
