hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
