Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
