we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
