But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
