i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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