We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
