He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Hippo gnu deer
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
