C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
