whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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