I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize