He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
