You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i think i have two assholes
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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