So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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