a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
