Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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