oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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