I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
only if we run a train.
done.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
