He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
