check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
