Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
