You're my little dorito
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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