This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
