well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
