I'm drive I can fine osifer
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
