I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i think i have two assholes
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize